The scene at the top of my blog site is one I took in Steamboat Springs CO on a beautiful summer day. I wanted this view to remind us that we can’t see the forest for the . . . you know the rest, right? In this blog, I’ll be talking about some of the forests we can’t see, and how to improve our vision.
In my work as a life/executive coach and psychotherapist, I work with clients who feel stuck in some part of their lives. Together we figure out ways for them to get unstuck and have more choices in their personal and professional lives.
The first step and one that lasts throughout our work together is to slow down. When we slow down we can see the forest – how different parts of our lives have a patterned connections that keep us stuck. Slowing down helps us see the rules that keep us stuck and experiment with new behaviors.
One aspect of what keeps us churning is anxiety – regret about the past and worry about the future. We can’t change the former and we can’t predict the later. We know that intellectually, but still we’re saturated with anxiety.Many of my clients complain about being anxious.
I know from first-hand experience how intrusive worrying can be so I’m really interested in what can help me and my clients deal with worry. I’ve been spending a lot of time in the last few days reading about a fascinating approach to managing anxiety – Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT). One terrifically helpful book is things might go terribly, horribly wrong (Kelly Wilson and Troy Dufrene) that describes ACT in a very accessible way .
ACT tells us that pain, including anxiety, is part of the human experience – the forest. The ACT focus is on developing skills that help us tolerate the discomfort of anxiety, rather than prescribing techniques to banish anxiety, an exercise in futility according to ACT. We can plant healthy trees by learning how to be different in the face of anxiety.
Today I’ll talk about one key ACT concept – mindfulness, also known as Present Moment Awareness (PMA). PMA is a simple concept: if we are fully aware of this moment right now, we can’t be regretting the past or worrying about the future.
But how do we implement this tool?
Here’s one way:
Take one or two deep slow easy breaths. Let your body relax as you breath in and out slowly and easily. I like to visualize the tension flowing down to my feet and into the floor.
Then, notice what ‘s happening.
What do you:
See? What specific objects, on the walls? The floor? The desk? The coffee table? Through the window? What color are they? Size? Is the room bright or dim?
Hear? Traffic? The heating system? A phone ringing? Footsteps in the hall? A TV in another room?
Feel? Is part of your body tense? Does your skin feel warm or cold? Is the chair supporting you? Do your shoulders feel tight? Your chest?
Smell? Is someone making popcorn in the lunch room? Has the floor been cleaned with disinfectant? Is something musty?
Taste? – Does your mouth have a lingering echo of what you ate for breakfast? Is your mouth dry?
By just noticing where and how you are in the moment, you’ll feel more grounded and reduce the chatter of anxiety. And this present moment awareness exercise is fully portable – you don’t need a special mat, equipment or clothes.
Give it a try.
Let me know how it works.
Barb
About Barb
Barbara Feinberg LISW-S, IMFT is a licensed psychotherapist and life/executive coach in Ohio and Colorado. Her blog focuses on issues and ideas that enhance her coaching and psychotherapy practice and are important to her clients. Her clients include professionals, executives, family business members, college professors, physicians and adults dealing with life transitions.